Maybe you’ve heard of the semi-popular YouTube videos called “Slip and Fall.” Well, you see, I accidentally tested my own version of this form of entertainment.

It was a gross and gray Monday, and I finally got a daily parking pass. I decided it would be a good idea to drive right to where all the other people were. By that, I mean that there was an actual person in the car directly next to me and directly across from me. After making sure my pink pass was visible on my dashboard, and my lights were off, I decided to steal a glance at the car to my right. Curiosity killed the cat, remember? As I turn my head, I was shocked to see the car inhabitant (cough cough cough a teacher) looking back at me. We’re not talking about a casual peek-then-quickly-look-away; there was no fear here. We’re talking a full 90-degree-my-eyes-are-meeting-your-eyes-you-can’t-look-away stare. I am convinced that a Jedi mind trick was played during this moment (eternity) of eye contact, because after the fact, I was so flustered that I fell to my death.

I obviously wasted no extra time in making a hasty exit. I put one foot on the ground while half squatting (think about it next time you get out of a car and you’ll see what I mean). Next thing you know, it’s see ya later Sarah! Even though only moments before 13% of my body was outside my car (aka only my leg) next thing you know, the other 87% of me was outside the car. Was I standing? Nope. I was sexily splayed out on the cold, hard, icy, Earth (it was for a photo shoot). I realized my arm was cold before I noticed that I wasn’t some place I usually hang out and spend the majority of my time. In the process of falling, I threw the remainder of my breakfast sandwich into the air, and it landed conveniently next to me on the dirty snow, instead of inside my mouth. I made some sort of noise on the way down, but I couldn’t tell you what it was. If you really must know, you could ask the TWO PEOPLE THAT SAW THE WHOLE THING.

I scrambled to resist gravity from a standing position. The nice gentleman who watched me lose a fight against winter kindly asked me if I was alright. Since I was laughing, I was very obviously okay, but it’s the thought that counts.

Once again, if a moment in my life was caught on tape, I would have a decent chance of winning a cash money prize. Good. This is also the time I think you should know that every time I wear my pink shoes, something bad happens. They have been there through thick and thin and have guided me into all the worst moments of my life. Because they’re haunted.

Sarah says throw things in the air for good luck. Especially breakfast items.