Crowd Surfing

As a rock legend, you always think of crowd surfing as a glamorous, hip activity that is an absolute must at shows if you’re really serious. And hardcore.

I was recently at a show, and saw many, many heroes fall while attempting to crowd surf. I enjoyed myself greatly. They seemed like they were in slight pain.

Here’s the general process: you find a tall, strong human being to give you a boost, and get the momentum going. People will grab you in uncomfortable places– places you may have never been grabbed before. It’ll be a great rush of adrenaline! The other bonus is that the security at the event will probably hate you. By probably, I mean it is 100% guaranteed that they will. Especially if you start the trend. As soon as the first guy goes, at least ten other people will follow and decide to live their life to the fullest.

Here is the inner monologue of all the security guards: “[email protected]$it! These darn kids! With their stupid ambitious party lifestyle. I almost got him! D$#(*, he got away. HE’S COMING AGAIN. STAN GET HIM. GRAB HIM.”

What I saw was this: people have a hard time maintaining balance from bobbing up and down due to the height differences of those supporting them, shorts rode up, and a few people fell inside the crowd to never return. As the bodies of the adventurous concert attendees swelled like ocean waves to the front of the audience, the security reached their limbs outwards to grab a foot in order to avoid disaster and potential injury. All times but one, they were successful. It starts with a foot, then they grab upper leg, until they are able to safely cradle the adventurous teens. The most hilarious was when you could see the muscles straining of the bulky men swaddling lanky, overgrown teenage boys.

Sarah says crowd surf just to do it because you can.