Humor: commotion on Senior Skip Day

Greyson Mize, sports beat lead

Senior Skip Day is a time-honored tradition both at Edina High School and high schools across the country. This holiday marks the end of the year, and with the prospect of graduation on the horizon, allows seniors one day to let loose and go wild. Despite safety concerns that arose from the 2018 Skip Day, the overwhelming popularity of the tradition won out, and EHS’ 2019 class was able to dive headfirst into a day of rewarding fun on April 23.

The senior skip day tradition started in the mid-’60s amidst the rising popularity of the cult classic, “The Sound of Music.” American students nationwide were inspired by English actress, singer and author Julie Andrews’ cheerful spirit and gait in the face of danger during the beginnings of WWII and decided to create a day devoted to skipping down the halls of their own schools, serving as a powerful demonstration of free spirit in an oppressive academic regime.

Multiple frightened freshmen who had not known to get out of Dodge before the seniors arrived described the skippers as a giant mass of twelfth graders that moved in synchronization through the halls with pack-like instincts and a ruthless 1 2 1 2 hopping rhythm.

“It was horrible,” a freshman, who asked not to be named in fear of retribution from the skippers, said. “You could hear them coming from miles away, but nothing escaped them once they got to you. Backpacks, teachers, and even my limited edition 2002 Tony Hawk vape got trampled!”

The seniors continued to skip in place even during class, disconcerting many teachers. “I didn’t see a single soul behind any of their eyes,” Frida Fredericks, EHS’ Scandinavian interpretive dance instructor, said. “The skipping completely entranced them.”

While no underclassmen or staff were seriously injured, multiple skippers were sent to the nurse’s office with rolled ankles and leg cramps.

“Forget everything you know about CrossFit, ping pong and football; skipping is perhaps one of the most strenuous and dangerous sports out there,” 2013 Olympic gold medalist and 2006 Connecticut spelling bee champion Jeff Gilbertson said. “If you ask me, it should be banned.”

Despite criticism from students in the path of the skipping stampede, 98% of seniors reported skip day as a success, according to a Zephyrus survey,  “It was just exhilarating to be able to skip with all of my friends, all day long,” senior Laura Summers said. “I wish everyday was skip day.”