In a surprising and heartwarming and good press release this week, Government Agency for Happiness confirmed that everyone, absolutely everyone is happy, content, and doing spiffily.

The Government Agency for Happiness went on to suggest that you stick to your normal schedule. “Your routine makes you happy, so why do things differently?” said Happiness Master Alfred Yogmen. “Why go to new places? Why do new things? Why investigate the mysterious disappearance of Carl Sickler? Why go down to the abandoned science factory? You shouldn’t. There is nothing to see down there.”

The GAH concluded their conference by distributing lists of “happiness dos and don’ts” to the members of the press. They included such tips as “DO smile”, “DO greet each day with a smile”, and “DON’T question why the moon looks like its falling apart. It might look like that but it isn’t. The moon is not going to fall apart so stop worrying about it.”