Well, it’s that time of year again – a time for family gatherings, gift giving, good cheer, and awful music on the radio. Christmas music, to be exact. In my opinion, every Christmas song is the worst Christmas song. Many other people would beg to differ though, so I can’t really write this article with that mindset. That being said, I have to think as if I were a person who really liked Christmas music, and ask myself, “Which songs suck no matter what you think of Christmas music as a whole?” There’s a couple of them that really stand out. Some of them are so awful they’re funny, and others are just plain bad. Allow me to tell you about a few of them. In no particular order:

1. “The Christmas Shoes” by NewSong: This one makes me cringe so, so hard. The awful melody and instrumentation in itself is enough to drive me away, but here’s where this song really sucks: its lyrics. Sure, it’s really sad and kind of sweet in a way, but that’s the problem. It feeds on our emotions so blatantly that it gets to the point where it’s almost offensive. Go listen to it, and you’ll see where I’m coming from. It’s extremely soft because it wants to make you sad. Let’s not forget the extremely laughable chorus, which begins as follows: “Sir I wanna buy these shoes, for my mama please…” What? What the heck was that? That was honestly the best thing you could write? For a chorus?!? The guy who wrote this doesn’t even deserve coal in his stocking. Very naughty. Also, I’m sorry if you like that song.

2. “Last Christmas” by Wham!: George Michael is just annoying. His voice is annoying. And this song isn’t really even about Christmas. It’s about the singer getting his heart broken. The only thing that makes this a Christmas song is the fact that they say “Christmas” in it, which should not make it a Christmas song. For some reason, however, it still is.

3. “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)” by Alvin and the Chipmunks: Self-explanatory.

There’s honestly so many more that I could list, but these are just a random sampling (except for the first one, which I despise with a burning passion if you couldn’t tell). Many people love these songs, and they’re wrong. There’s nothing wrong with loving Christmas music, but when you enjoy songs like these, well… You’re taking it too far. This is not good.