Valentine’s Day has passed, and even if you are still single, the real question you should be asking yourself is: are you ready to mingle?  Here are a few somewhat awful, semi-nauseating academic pick-up lines sorted by class to break the ice, and not your heart.

Science

– You’re so hot, you denature my proteins.

– Are you made of copper and tellurium?  Because you are Cu-Te.

– According to the second law of thermodynamics, you’re supposed to share your hotness with me.

– Baby, your so gneiss I’ll never take you for granite.

Math

– What’s your sine?  The sine^(-1) of you must be pi/2 because you’re the one.

– Our love is like dividing by zero… you cannot define it.

– You must be an asymptote, because I just find myself getting closer and closer to you.

– Are you the square root of 2?  Because I feel irrational when I’m around you.

English

– I wish I were a predicate so that I could be the direct object of your affection.

– Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?  You’re hot.

– You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.

 Social Studies

– If you were a president you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln.

– I don’t mean to be Russian you, but quit Stalin and give me your number.

– Your eyes are bluer than the ocean Columbus sailed…and I’m lost at sea.

– Just ask Thomas Paine; he knows dating me is Common Sense.