Visit an apple orchard: For nostalgia and a mediocre time, go to an apple orchard and your buddies! Activities include feeling bad about being the only person who got lost in the corn maze above seven years old and thinking about if the workers would really notice if you secretly pocketed a couple of Honey Crisp apples.

Go to Target: As the ultimate Midwestern escape, Target is the number one reliable activity to fall back on. Filled with quick dopamine hits and much bigger bank account hits, you might even find a trinket that you can purchase to justify walking around for 45 minutes and annoying the poor service workers.

Stay home: If you’re looking for a more low-effort excursion, consider just not leaving your house. At the end of the day, your bed is the best place to play a mobile game while watching a video essay and lament about teachers assigning you the most work you’ve done since finals week during the most “relaxing” weekend of the first semester.  

Pumpkin baseball: To take out your rage after failing your 7th period math test that you forgot to study for in your prep, embrace the incoming spooky season by bashing in pumpkins with a baseball bat. If you work hard enough, you could even make it a trendy TikTok photoshoot!

Travel the Oregon Trail: For those getting bored of playing the same Cool Math Games over and over, take a pilgrimage and do the trail yourself. Pros include touching grass for the first time and scenic views, while cons may entail dysentery and cholera.

This piece was originally published in Zephyrus’ print edition on October 12, 2023.