Breaking News: Edina high school seniors face an extreme senioritis epidemic. Also known as senior slide, this deadly disease has been affecting high school seniors across the United States for generations. Common symptoms include decreased grade point averages, decreased sense of style and increased sleep. Students who suffer from this mind altering disease often are characterized by their “yolo” (slang for you only live once) attitude and carefree actions. In some extreme cases of senioritis people have even been known to take literature tests without reading the material or not show up for the test at all.

Most cases of senioritis are reported after November 1st and are prone to increase steadily as senior students determine their colleges. However, there are exceptions, such as the handful of EHS seniors or potentially even juniors who have early onset senioritis due to their early college commitment for athletic or academic excellence. Although these cases are known to be quite mild due to requirement GPA and grade requirements for their colleges they should still be reported to higher officials and treated seriously.  

In addition, there are some common misconceptions and false sighting of senior sliding  that we need to address in order to prevent false reporting. Senioritis sufferers do not experience less stress than their underclassmen counterparts. In fact, they often experience higher stress levels due to the fact that they procrastinate every minute task. Furthermore, the high school senior academics do not become less challenging, the students just stop caring.

If you or anyone you know suffers from senioritis please contact your teachers and guidance counselors immediately. Without proper treatment this disease could affect all high schools across the United States.