September 24th, 2014


Tanner Sparrow

EHS seniors Ansel Smolund and Tanner Sparrow embark on adventures each Wednesday.

10:51- Head out to Tanner’s mom’s refurbished ‘94 Ford Taurus.

10:57- Arrive at local elementary school, and prowl around until we find a pair of kids that resembles us.

10:58- Inform the children that we are them from the future, and then hand them each a slice of ham, and a casio wristwatch.

11:00- Head to Ansel’s great-uncle-in-law Toni’s to attend a karate lesson.

11:30- Leave Toni’s dojo with some new self-defense skills, and a grilled cheese.

11:36- Grab some loose change, and head to PetSmart to buy a fish.

11:40- Brainstorm name ideas for the fish.

11:50- Settle on Gary.

12:00- Rent a Vespa from a local man named Javier.

12:04- Ride the Vespa to a French pâtisserie, and buy a baguette to throw in the handlebar basket.

12:10- Grab Ansel’s handheld GPS and head to a nearby forest/nature area, and participate in some good old fashioned geocaching.

12:20- Upon completing the geocache, find a box of stickers and unpackaged starbursts, find a berry bramble, and spend some time picking delicious blueberries and blackberries.

12:30- Realize the berry bramble was actually just an old tree, and the delicious blueberries and blackberries were actually a highly toxic fungus. Shoulda checked our field guide first!

12:40- Arrive back at school in a state of anaphylactic shock.