Matt Dulas, Features Editor
Matt Dulas is a direct descendent of the Samurai and is fearfully known as “The Asian Sensation” and “The Flyin’ Hawaiian.” Matt Dulas secretly guerrilla gardens, is the fifth man known to play the three drum bongo, professionally Scottish step dances, and frequently places wagers on horse races with the Queen of England. He is a world-renowned orange juice connoisseur and may be seen thoughtfully sipping on a glass of fine Valencia orange juice commenting on its “curiously orange flavor with a hint of citrus.” Matt can speak fluent Kazakhstani, does full contact crocheting, and is a wanted “fugitivo” in the southeastern part of Ecuador. He bakes without consulting a cookbook, has a designer line of tube socks named after him, and abstract paints concretely. Once he impersonated an Oxford professor for twenty seconds and taught the class “how to Dougie” before being booted. Matt Dulas performed two emergency brain surgeries simultaneously, did a one man Shakespearean Broadway show that lasted for half a performance, and is a Zephyrus features editor.
