How to: Apple Orchards

Before: Before going to an apple orchard make sure to deviate from the “typical” apple orchard outfit look. Leggings? No. Try sweatpants instead. Groutfits are also a super cute option as well!  Some of your friends might be wearing infinity scarfs, but a neck warmer is a much more practical neck accessory. They come in various colors and designs, and will keep you warm the entire time. Many girls also wear combat, hunter, or riding boots to apple orchards. Instead, put on Crocs or flip flops! Mud will seep in through the holes in your crocs, leaving a hipster design all over your feet. Flip flops will also let you seep in the mud, and will result in a more caked-over look, if that’s what you’re after. While you’re getting ready, make sure to spray yourself with a fruity, sweet smelling perfume. Apple orchards are always buzzing with bees, so how cool would it be for them all to be attracted to you? Pretty awesome!

During: During your time at the apple orchard be sure to take as many artsy pictures of the different colored trees or perhaps even a selfie for Instagram. While you’re there, don’t pick apples. That is for five-year-olds. Instead, stand next to everyone with your arms crossed, or even better, sit on the ground and pout. This will improve your time there by at least five hundred percent. Some apple orchards have corn mazes. Make sure to run around in them alone without any of your friends while the sun is setting. It will be just like you’re in a scary movie trying to find your way out! Also, don’t buy any of the products sold at apple orchards such as caramel apples, apple cidar, apple pie, apple crisp, or apples. Save these purchases for your local grocery store. Instead, buy things that you can get anywhere such as candy bars or a hot dog. Also while you’re there, don’t even go close to the adorable animals that you can pet or feed. The fluffy white bunnies, baby sheep, or goats don’t deserve your attention.

After: Once you have gotten home from the apple orchard, make sure to tweet about it so everyone will know on Monday how much fun you had over the weekend. If your friends tweet about it, make sure you retweet all of their tweets as well. It is also suggested that you post at least three, if not more, pictures on Instagram. Instagram videos are even better.