Edina Nerf Assassins: Team Tripod

Erik Lindquist, outgoing senior

It feels like once we return from Spring Break, things at Edina High School get hectic. Spring sports tryouts, AP tests on the horizon, and, of course, the leading cause of stress and drama: the Nerf Assassins game. Usually only the seniors and juniors play, but in recent years sophomores have created their own separate game.

The amount of players taking part has significantly decreased this year. Last spring, over 400 juniors and seniors payed the five dollar buy-in to participate, and the game didn’t officially end until July. This year, for whatever reason, there’s a fraction of that: only about fifty teams signed up.

Every year there’s a team that seems to draw the most attention in the game, either by excessive social media boasting or simply by taking out numerous players from other teams. Last year was a team of seniors called “The Ghosts”, but this year it’s a group of six juniors who are in the spotlight called “The Tripods”. In the game, a team must eliminate two other players to advance to the next week, but in the first week of Nerf the “Tripods” have eliminated eleven players while only losing one member.

When asked about the Tripods, many EHS students voiced their distaste for them. “Tripod is just a bunch of non-clutch botching nubs,” said junior Jack Stedman. The recurring theme is that they’re overly invested in the game. “They take the game way too seriously! People are afraid to go outside anywhere in Edina without their Nerf guns because of them,” said junior Ryan Thompson, a recently deceased player from the “Blasters”. Others don’t really have a problem aside from how overconfident they are, “Tripod hasn’t really gone after me or my teammates, but they’re just super cocky about [Nerf Assassins],” said junior Sophie Crosby.

There’s even a hashtag on Twitter that’s associated with the bashing of the team, #tripodmorelike. Some examples include “#tripodmorelike dysentery” from junior Michael Rodriguez, or “#tripodmorelike those boys that wake up extremely early to get nerf kills because they are way too into this game,” from junior Brittany Bass.

“Tripod” is known for actively pursuing other players in order to eliminate them, and long stakeouts aren’t uncommon for them. “[#] Tripod more like a group of wannabes that like to hang out outside of my house after school. They don’t let me play basketball with my younger brother and I want this to stop,” said senior Cole Harris.

The “Tripods” aren’t bothered by all of the flack they’re getting from other Nerf teams. “We’re just a group of guys trying to have fun. I think people are just jealous of how good we are at the game. We’ve been talking about giving the prize money to charity if we win. I think it’d be funny if we did since everyone hates us and that’d stick it to them,” said junior “Tripod” member Daniel Brunker.

“Tripod is the worst. They’re normally great guys but with Nerf I’m seeing them in a different light. I hate them almost as much as Kjell Redpath,” said Harris.

Follow @EdinaNA14 on Twitter to be updated on the proceedings of the ongoing Nerf Assassins game.