Before
Shoes: Contrary to common belief, swing dancing can and WILL get really intense, so be prepared. This isn’t just something that your mom tells you to wear tennies to and you ignore her and wear flip flops instead, this is the big leagues, ladies and gentlemen. Through our research, we would suggest any type of shoe that fits snug on your feet, such as flats, Toms, or even a cute pair of Keds. Big no-nos: flip flops and Crocs. They’ll make you trip and fall on the dance floor, which will be not only EXTREMELY embarrassing, but you’ll also risk a heel in the jugular… ouch.
Clothing: As per usual, we showed up looking extremely stylish in our sups cas dresses. However, you can pretty much wear whatever you want, but we would caution against looking extremely formal. What you wear also depends on how intense your swing dancing is. If you’re as intense as we are, it won’t be uncommon to see you flipping over your partner’s arm or shoulder. In this case, ladies, it could get extremely awkward when you flip and expose your undergarments to the whole band, unless that’s how you roll; we don’t judge.
Hur: When swing dancing, one swings around quite a bit. Duh, right? We thought so too, but please take this fact into consideration when deciding what to do with your hair. First choice would be to shave everything off, but if you are particularly fond of your luscious locks, a simple ponytail binder will do the trick.
Passcode: When we visited WabashaStreetCaves.com, we weren’t sure if they were joking about using the passcode, “Gus sent me.” Lesson learned, THEY WERE JOKING. When we tried it on what looked like doormen, they just gave us weird looks and told us they were band members. As true investigative journalists, we took this one for the team so you could save yourself the embarrassment.
Visualization: It is recommended to visualize the night as you would like it to go for at least one hour prior to the dance. We like to keep it simple and just lock ourselves in a room, draw the shades, and take up salutary eagle position. Although it is not officially proven, visualization has been shown to improve dance moves by at least 23%. 50%, in Hayley’s case.
Hydrate: This step is crucial! Nobody wants to dance with a dehydrated cactus. That did not even make sense, but real talk: it gets hot on the dance floor, and you will sweat. The simple solution is to be drinking water throughout the day. Which you are already doing, right?
During
Awkward loitering: DO NOT ARRIVE before 8:30 p.m. Repeat: DO NOT ARRIVE before 8:30 p.m. We found this out the hard way. Being the enthusiastic swing dancers that we are, we wanted to maximize swing time to it’s fullest potential but as a consequence had to spend an unfortunate amount of time awkwardly loitering in corners waiting for the band to start. This dilemma can be cured by simply arriving at 8:30, when the music is guaranteed to be in full swing (ha, get it?).
Picking up boiz/pick-up-lines: “Is it swing night or are you just dancing with joy from seeing me?” BAM. Insta-dance partner. Warning: you will have to fend off the drooling boys (or girls) if you use this one. It’s that potent.
THE DANCE: Don’t know how to swing? Fear not, observation is key. We learned almost all of our moves by simply watching others. To avoid coming off as creepy, we recommend that you refrain from corner watching and instead try stealing sidelong glances at veteran couples dancing next to you and your date. And if all else fails, remember that head bobbing is appropriate for every situation.
Beware ye old men: When you do go swing dancing, stick to your date like GLUE because ye old men CAN and WILL steal your date from you (I had to find this one out the hard way when my date was stolen by an older man… SO embarrassing). Not only is it incredibly uncomfortable for your date seeing as they probably don’t want to afterparty at the old folks home, but it’s also awkward for you since no one wants to steal you away, loser.
Recovery time: After each dance, there’s a quick pause in between songs. Use this time effectively by doing some light stretching and rhythmic breathing exercises to cool yourself down. If the short breaks intimidate you, don’t be afraid to skip out on a song to regain your strength; NO ONE would want to be seen on the dance floor giving less than one hundred percent. We suggest a 4:1 dancing to rest song ratio.
After
Good date/group outing material: After working up a sweat on the dance floor (which you will, trust us) you’re probably going to be famished and mere moments away from death after burning such a ridiculous amount of calories. But no fear! There are plenty of classy restaurants on your way to and from Wabasha Caves; we suggest Grumpy Steve’s Coffee Shop, or if you really want to treat your date you could stop by McDonald’s, but don’t forget to bring a little extra cash if you pick that option.
