Even though it’s more than a week after homecoming, our brains are only beginning to process the eventful night. Dresses and suits have been put away and the last remnants of hairspray are finally washing off. Here, we provide a glimpse into the typical homecoming experience of two regular, (if somewhat freakishly beautiful), Edina High School students with step-by-step guidelines that guarantee a good time.

1. Artfully avoid the dreaded “dibs-ing” drama by asking your date early. Because of incessant procrastination and general dislike of my date during the month of May, I had to ask her in June, which is much too late. As a general rule, I would say that if you haven’t asked by July, don’t even bother asking at all. The dance is in late September after all.
2. Ask your date in a creative way. I believe that the particularly brilliant idea that I used greatly helped me in wooing Hayley to be my date (as if she needed any wooing). Unfortunately, she didn’t understand the majority of inside jokes that I used but the overall result was a success and she said yes.
3. Make an itinerary. My mom made ours.
4. Take pictures worthy of intense Facebook stalking. Hayley and I did our pictures at her house with their computer webcam. Although the itinerary originally said my house for pictures our webcam broke down at the last minute and our moms had to drive us back to Hayley’s house. However, this brings us to an important point: be flexible! Everything turned out okay and Hayley had sheets that we could use for backgrounds.
5. Get dinner somewhere nice. After pictures, my mom drove me and Hayley to the St. Louis Park McDonalds for some pre-dance treats. Hayley almost ordered a Big Mac, but I reminded her that she was wearing a tight dress that was already looking a little snug. We ate our happy meals on the way to the high school to save time.
6. Arrive early to get the best spots on the dance floor. We came an hour early to be safe and to watch the parent volunteers make finishing touches on the decorations. Of course, you don’t have to come this early but I would highly recommend at least 30 minutes prior to the start of the dance.
7. Dance with your date! Not ones for the pit, Hayley and I bopped around on the outskirts of the dance floor, artfully avoiding eye contact/any kind of physical contact at all. Hayley seemed to have a strange bladder impediment however, and had to excuse herself each time a slow dance came on. However, this was fine with me because it offered an opportunity to quietly reflect on the night’s happenings and to individually practice my dance form.
8. Take your date home. Hayley and I both had to be in bed by curfew, so our respective parents picked us up by 8:45. We waved goodbye to each other and to a night of fun and excitement as we stepped into our parent’s awaiting Subaru station wagons.

Whether it’s Homecoming, Sadie’s, Sweethearts, or Prom, by following these simple instructions you’ll be guaranteed to have a good time!