A hidden flaw in our fishbowls

Since their addition, the Edina High School study spaces—colloquially known as “fishbowls”—have faced a constant wave of criticism. Thousands, if not millions of Edina students and parents have filed complaints, arguing that the fishbowls are a pointless waste of space. Yet the fishbowls’ most glaring problem is one that is often ignored: the outright lack of fish.
“I feel betrayed, disappointed, and most of all, deceived,” said EHS sophomore and Interlachen Country Club member Brad, who asked to be known by his first name only in order to prevent retaliation from his peers and the Edina School Board. “I was taught as a kid that school authority figures will always make the right decisions. Naming areas after fish habitats and not putting fish in them is a total breach of that trust. If we can’t trust the Edina School Board—arguably the most powerful political entity in the West Metro—who can we trust?”
The connection between pet fish and student productivity cannot be understated. Instagram influencers and Reddit posts have proved, over and over, that having fish around increases the ACT, Kahoot!, and PACER scores of high school students.
“Fishlessness is one of the most pressing problems in our beautiful school. I started a Change.org petition, and my mom is going to write an email to the local news outlets,” said Brad. He was spotted yesterday standing outside the city hall with signs reading “Fish in fishbowls” and “Fish = friends. Not food!”