Strict dress code rules are freeing

Edina High School has recently developed a new dress code that the student body could not be more grateful for. The new School Dress Code and Modesty Advisor, Tim Burr, came up with a set of rules that will keep students safe from exposed shoulders and ankles. “We’ve come to the reasonable conclusion that no skin or shape should be shown by girls, in order to maximize academic focus for male students,” said Burr.
The newly implemented regulations for girls include: shirts may show no trace of figure, pants must go past the toes, and sleeves must measure 15 inches past wrists. As for male students, anything that qualifies as more than underwear is fair game. Students who don’t abide by these rules can face an array of consequences. Detentions, suspensions, and expulsions have all been administered to young women who choose to rebel against these sensible rules.
The school board is constantly adding new rules as problems pop up—gloves and scarves are now being ruled as mandatory for female students. “We’re just trying to provide a safe and distraction-free environment that allows every student a chance to learn, and bare hands have become nothing but an interference with that,” said Burr of the new policy. “If one of us wears something that violates the dress code, we’re drawn out of class and asked to go home for the day, which barely interferes with my education at all,” said senior Paige Turner.
Burr has done outstanding work in preparing high school students for the world beyond. Boys are able to completely focus on their education without any diversion, and by controlling girls’ clothing and self-expression, they become prepared to live in a patriarchal world.
Edina High School is setting a modern standard that all other public high schools will soon follow. Strict dress codes let female students adjust for their male peers by covering themselves from head to toe, regardless of the weather. “It’s really a perfect system, and everyone thinks so,” Turner said.