Water, anyone?

Isadora Li, page editor

Ah, the age-old debate of water drinkers and connoisseurs everywhere: which bottled water is truly the best? There are universal truths only avid water drinkers can agree on, such as the fact that room temperature water is more enjoyable and [add in another truth]. However, issues like the best brand of bottled water have long resulted in heated discussions. As an expert water drinker, I of course had to embark on the journey of finally settling on the best brand of bottled water. Without further explanation, I present my ranking of the best bottled water (from the seven I could find at the gas station).

Core
Aside from its unique twist on your typical water bottle shape, this brand was best overall. The water was light and smooth, and left my mouth feeling very refreshed. The bottle boasted an almost perfectly balanced 7.4 pH level. Wonderfully refreshing, as water should be.

Fiji
For its reputation as a fancy water, I would still rank it under the Core water because of its heavier feel and slightly less satisfying result. The bottle shape and design is by far my favorite, but Fiji was less effective in being the first choice because it did less to quench my thirst for water.

Enon Springs
This is your typical water. Classic bottle design. Easily compressible for maximum and efficient hydration. Nothing stood out about the water specifically, which is as it should be. Drinking water shouldn’t take any extra consideration.

Clear Mountain
I spilled this water while I was opening it because it was filled to the top, so you can be assured you’re getting your money’s worth. Similar to the Enon Springs, it’s just water. The reason I would put it below Enon Springs is because it had a heavier feel, but only slightly. Clear Mountain gets the job done.

Smart Water
Typically found in the Edina High School cafeteria, one pays for the aesthetic—not the water itself. The water is smooth, but it is less memorable than other brands. Nothing extraordinary about the water itself, but if you’re looking for a brand to fit in with your North Face backpack, this should be your go-to.

Dasani
This water was smooth, but the feeling it left was its most notable property. The feeling is similar to the Aquafina yet this one still tasted like water. This water was heavy and did not leave me feeling as refreshed as the other higher ranked waters. Dasani is typically the butt of every water bottle joke, but at least in this ranking, it didn’t come in last.

Aquafina
To be honest, this one was weird. It’s slight, but if water could be sour without actually tasting sour that’s how I would describe it. Out of all the waters listed here, this one was the only one that had an unsettling and discernible taste, so for this reason Aquafina is ranked last.

Ultimately, water is water. Should I have tasted each water separately instead of holding a tasting session, I would not have noticed the differences. They did the trick and I am hydrated, so with that, I wish you happy drinking.