How to Walk in the Hallways

Do you need help with your hallway-walking skills? If so, look no further than here!

The correct etiquette for hallway walking yet again must be reviewed for the sophomores, and additionally, the juniors and seniors that have not yet mastered the art of hallway walking efficiently. Hallway etiquette can range from correct location, appropriate pausing places to converse, and walking speed. The student frustration is made clear by EHS sophomore, Andrea Zerbe, “I hate getting run over by hooligans”.

Step 1: When walking down through designated passing zones, discard the sea of students walking in a single direction and instead, cause maximum amount of mayhem by heading towards students walking in the exact opposite direction. Then, when students begin to firmly direct you to the opposite side of said passing zone, continue to walk at quickened pace. Ignore the seemingly agitated pupils, if necessary, respond with the words, “Haters gonna hate”, and continue quoting Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” until out of the vision line of peers.

Step 2:  The correct way to walk in the hallway is at turtle speed. To add effect, pause continuously to scratch nose. When fellow peers stand on the backs of your heels, make note to lift your foot vertically and step back onto the tip of fellow peers toenails. This is done not only to slow walking speed but to add irritation to said fellow peers. When other inhabitants of the hallway began to demonstrate their anger verbally, pass inhabitants and decrease walking speed.

Step 3:  Please note that the appropriate location to converse is in the center of any major hallway. Whenever one sights even the vaguest of acquaintances, it is of the utmost importance that the acquaintance is stopped, chuckled at, as well as attacked with questions concerning their emotional state of being. If space permits, hopping while conversing ideal. If other pupils request a change in location, discard request and glare at all that suggest.